there's a hole (in my soul)
by maximoffed
Summary: Weeks after Sokovia, Wanda tries to settle into a new life without Pietro. Without him, though, she's just a lonely, unstable girl living with people who only fear her. Can the team bring her back together before she destroys herself, and everyone else around her? / ABANDONED


_"Pietro… please. You can't leave me here."_

 _Tears streamed down her face. She couldn't breath. It hurt. It hurt so much. She could feel the pain of the bullets that passed through her brother. Her hands shaked terribly as she reached to clutch her chest. The pain was too much._

 _"Don't do this to me."_

 _Another sharp pain to her chest and she let out a scream so loud and hard that it felt like her throat was being ripped open from the inside out._

 _She whimpered._

 _"I'll die without you. You can't do this. Please don't kill me! Don't kill_ _ **us!**_ _"_

 _Wanda let out another ear-piercing scream as she curled up, her chin resting on her knees. She was shaking uncontrollably. The pain… it hurt. Her chest was being ripped open. Someone was taking her heart out. It was being ripped apart. She could feel herself dying._

 _"Pietro…. Pietro… Please don't leave me. Don't die. Don't die._ _ **Don't die!**_ _"_

* * *

Her eyes opened wide mid-scream. Sweat dripped down her forehead and it had already soaked her clothes and bedsheets. She was panting hard. Red eyes darted back and forth as she tried to become aware of her surroundings again. Okay, she was in her room. Shaking hands reached up to wipe stray tears away from her cheeks. The nightmare replayed in her head again. It was the same thing every night since Pietro died. When they first started happening, almost every Avenger came to her room to see what was going on.

They stopped the night Wanda accidentally almost killed Rhodey. She was too unstable… and he got too close.

Wanda swung her legs over the bed and ran a hand through her hair. Her eyes went to the clock. 3 AM. Nobody would be up around this time. Well, besides Vision, whom she was sure didn't sleep at all. She would just avoid him. Right then, she couldn't talk to anyone. She just wanted to be alone. Besides, everyone was scared of her, especially after that night. Nobody wanted to be around in fear that she would snap and try to kill them.

She got up and moved toward the dresser, grabbing out a different shirt to replace the one that was drenched in sweat. Slowly, she opened her door, not wanting to make any noise.

Wanda sat in the kitchen by herself, hands wrapped around a warm mug of coffee that she made that got cooler and cooler as she continued to sit there, not even taking one single sip. Her eyes stayed on the wall as she thought about that empty hole in her heart. Pietro… She felt so alone in this new place and with these new people. Being here wouldn't be bad if he was still by her side. She would have someone to talk to, then. Someone to watch over her, and better yet, someone she knew she could trust.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps from down the hall. She peeled her forehead off of her arm. Had she fallen asleep? How long was she out? Wanda looked up, wiping drool from the side of her mouth. The sun was now just barely shining through the window. It had to be around 6 or 7 AM now. Wanda leaned back in the chair, stretching her arms as the footsteps got closer. She could tell it was Steve, most likely back from his morning run.

"You're up early," he greeted as he entered, going straight to the fridge for orange juice.

Wanda simply nodded her head.

"Take it you had another rough night. Everything okay?"

"I do not want to talk about it," she replied sternly with her thick accent.

Steve nodded his head. "That's fair." He began opening up the cabinets, getting food out to start breakfast. Wanda watched him silently, eyes glowing red as she tried to read him. He was calm. Level-headed as always, but deep inside, she could still see those war flashbacks that could make God's most righteous man shake in his boots. No one's fears were safe from Wanda.

He turned towards her and her eyes went back to their normal color.

"Want to help me with breakfast? Figured we could make eggs and bacon."

"I'm afraid I'm not much of a cook," she replied. Wanda was never really good at cooking. All she could ever do is make a microwavable dinner or a sandwich. She never got the chance to learn those skills.

Steve nodded his head and turned his back to begin cooking, obviously not wanting to press her any further. It wasn't long before Natasha made her way into the kitchen, followed by Sam. Wanda avoided eye contact and simply looked down at her cold mug of coffee.

Might as well dump it as this point.

The three began talking with each other, joking around and laughing. Wanda stayed silent, simply listening to them. Soon enough Steve was dishing out food. A plate was put in front of her and she simply stared at it for a few moments. She picked up a fork and simply moved the scrambled eggs around. Pietro always told her not to play with her food. Her hand clenched around the fork, but she soon loosened her grip when she heard Rhodey walk into the kitchen. Vision was following behind him.

Rhodey still wasn't in the best shape. He's been out of training sessions for a few weeks now. At the time, she didn't realize what she was doing. Not until Steve finally knocked some sense into her, literally. When she came to, she saw just how badly she had hurt her teammate. He had some broken bones, a pretty bad concussion from her throwing him around, and some internal injuries. No one ever really told her the extent to his injuries, she just overheard them talking. Tony even came down to see just how bad he was. Now whenever she saw him, she could just see the fear in his eyes. She knew all of them regretted putting her on the team. It was all too clear.

Wanda dropped her fork and stood up. She could feel eyes on her back as she walked toward the doorway.

"Wanda, you really should eat," Steve said.

"I'm not hungry."

* * *

She kept to herself during training.

Usually she trained with Vision, but today she really just felt like doing things on her own. Not to mention working with someone besides Pietro felt too weird to her. Wanda sat in the corner, levitating blocks and moving them around. Her fingers moved one by one as the blocks floated just by her head. Finally, with a quick shift of her hands, the blocks broke apart. Her eyes went back to their normal color. Suddenly, her hands clenched into fists and her eyes glowed red again. The red magic flowed from her hands as the broken block pieces were lifted up. With pure concentration and a quick outstretch of her hand, the pieces went shooting straight into the wall.

Pietro should be there. But no, he had to go off and play hero and save Clint Barton. Why did he have to give up his life for the archer? Pietro wasn't stupid. He knew that going in to save him meant sacrificing himself.

Wanda remembered the archer being nice to her at one point.

She trusted him.

And then he took her brother away.

Wanda's hand reached out to one of the training dummies. The red magic shot out of her hand, wrapping itself around the dummy like a blanket. She lifted it into the air and brought her hands together.

All eyes were on her.

Wanda brought her hands apart and the training dummy was in pieces. Limbs flew across the room. The head went straight for Steve, but thankfully he had his shield with him. Stuffing flew throughout the room. Her fingers were contorted again. She wasn't stopping there.

"That stupid archer!"

She went for another training dummy, tearing it apart and letting the limbs fly. Vision dodged an arm that came for him. Red eyes looked up at the others. They all started at her, afraid to move or even say anything.

Natasha reached out to her. "Wanda."

Wanda looked to her, yet the woman didn't even flinch. Her eyes finally stopped glowing.

What had she done?

She lost control again.

She couldn't do this without him. He kept her sane. She needed him.

Wanda collapsed to her knees and held her head.

"Pietro…"

* * *

 _Wow, so it's been quite a while since I posted anything on here. Age of Ultron just really got me wanting to come back to writing fanfiction, so here I am. I absolutely fell in love with Wanda, so of course I needed to write something with her dealing with Pietro's death. I'm not sure how often I'll be updating with school and everything, but we'll see. Mayhem will be getting updated sometime this week, so look out for that too. Hope you all enjoyed c:_

 _Leave a review so I can update uwu_


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